The World According to Renee

Views, Reviews, Short Stories and More…

Useful Things I Learned from the Ex

Today was the Race That Stops The Nation. I’ve not been much into gambling, or horse racing, but it was a common Saturday afternoon activity when I was with my ex. This is how I learned to fill in one of those little chits and feed it into the machine. Nowadays though, that little skill is only handy for Melbourne Cup days, and the last three years, I haven’t done so well. At least this year, my horse wasn’t dead last…

My ex was also a carpenter. This meant he knew handy stuff, like how to hold a hammer, what washers do and general “stuff”. Yesterday J and I bought a cross trainer. It’s a purchase we’ve been thinking about for a while; we felt walking wasn’t enough and now that I’ve given up deli girl-ing, I’m sitting around getting fat and lazy. So began the arduous task of putting the bloody thing together. The instructions (once we found the English booklet; it came with twelve booklets in different languages) told us we needed two people, so naturally I thought I could do it on my own. I got exactly three pieces together (two of them were bolts) before needing help. All those lessons about “stuff” were dredged up from the depths of my memory, vague at best, but somehow, the cross trainer angels were with us and we got it together within two hours… Until the final piece went on and we discovered we were missing a washer. The pedal kept falling off without it. So off to Bunnings we went (yet another lesson learned from the ex- I know my way around a hardware store) to buy a washer. We paid the 25 cents, placed our Melbourne Cup bets on the way home, fitted the washer and voila!

There are probably other important lessons, like how not to be a dickhead, but for the moment, they’re still buried. They’ll appear when I’m ready, and need them.


November 3, 2009 - Posted by | 1

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