The World According to Renee

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Friendship Divorce

I have awesome friends. They patiently listen to my rants, notice when things aren’t quite OK (even though I’m blissfully unaware), support me in all I do and other general friend-type things. (Thanks T for the random gift- I love it!)

But with great friends comes great responsibility. What happens when one person no longer wants to be friends?

About a year ago, I went through a friend divorce. I was friends with someone and one day, we were no longer friends. Just like that. I’d gotten a message from Friend saying I was to no longer contact them. It sent me for quite a spin. I had no idea our friendship was in trouble. Moreover, I have no idea what I did that it had to end so suddenly.

Such is often the nature of a friend divorce. Sadly, it’s not the first time I’ve been through it. In my teens, I went through two best friends in about four years. One friendship dissolved due to my jumping to conclusions (and I’ve regretted it ever since, but we’re now facebook friends and the air is clear) and the other was due to someone sleeping with my boyfriend. That friendship has also been cleared. As an aside, what would we do without facebook?

It’s said that friends are the family you choose for yourself. It seems to be true, although regaining a lost friendship can be entirely up to you. If you disassociate your family, it can be quite trying and other family take sides, making things incredibly awkward and messy. Friends can understand you more than family can. It’s easier to talk to friends about deeply personal stuff: is it easier to talk about your sex life with your best friend or your sister?

I miss my former friend. I think of them often and wish them well. I’m still hurt by what happened because I had no choice, no idea, no say in it. The friendship was just taken away. It’s sad they feel they have to distance themselves from me at all costs. I hope one day, they can move past whatever and we can be friends again. After all, it was only a friendship.

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December 2, 2009 - Posted by | Thoughts & Reflections

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