The World According to Renee

Views, Reviews, Randoms and More…

Hey there, Judgey McJudgerson

judgemental

 

Recently, I watched You Can’t Ask That‘s episode about facial difference. As a customer service person with a lifetime in retail and other face-to-face roles, I’ve come across quite a few people with facial differences. I’ve always bitten my tongue although I’m dying to ask a bunch of questions!

I admit I stare because they are different. I am fascinated by different people. I am fascinated with people who aren’t me, because I’m pretty boring. I’m interested in why and how people are the way they are. How did you get that difference? What treatments do you have? How is life different for you than it is for me?

The show fascinates me. I am someone who wants to ask inappropriate questions, because it’s a genuine fascination with extraordinary people. It’s not because I’m silently laughing at them. It’s not because I want to highlight differences. I’m not judging them on looks. I just think they are people who are more interesting than I am.

Judging people in society is a worldwide pastime. On one hand, there’s a movement about loving all shapes and sizes and perceived differences. That goes out the window on red carpets, where often the same movement pounces on celebrities to judge whether a dress is an appropriate fit for someone’s body type.

Where once upon a time, these comments would safely reside within one’s home or a casual chat with friends, social media has created an anonymous place where these comments are immediately posted for criticism and others can join the vitriolic taunts. News agencies pick up the “story” and run click-baiting headlines, encouraging others to join the “conversation” to spread the hatred.

Something that struck a chord with me about the facial differences is their attitude. One of the questions was, “Do you think you’re ugly?” Everyone said no, but they had been subject to taunts, unkind remarks and sarcastic comments because of their appearance. What is wrong with people who think saying horrible things is OK?

Years ago when I was still at school, a man came to talk to us. He was in a wheelchair. I can’t remember why, but it was an accident i.e. he wasn’t born disabled. I remember one thing he said: “If you want to know how someone ends up in a wheelchair, ask them. Don’t stare and point, just ask.”

Still, I think it’s largely inappropriate for me to ask strangers about why they are the way they are. I’m guilty of asking about seemingly minor inflictions such as broken arm, although a friend who regularly has her arm in a sling says she’s really not cool with strangers asking why.

I totally understand that. It’s akin to someone touching your pregnant belly, an invasion of your personal space even if it is just a question. I like to think I am including people in my life instead of pretending something doesn’t exist.

Please don’t be offended if I ask you an inappropriate question. It’s just that I think you’re really interesting. And awareness of differences is the first step towards an inclusive society.

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May 4, 2017 - Posted by | Thoughts & Reflections | , , , , ,

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