The World According to Renee

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How to be an Awesome Customer

Over the past week, I’ve had some pretty horrible customers. There’s been the usual stupid ones but I’ve not had a mean, nasty customer for ages. And despite what studies say, there’s definitely a correlation between customer behaviour and the full moon. Just sayin’.

Here are my Top 5 Tips for you to become an Awesome Customer and not wind up on someone’s blog or a site like

1. Always use your manners
Using your manners is free and easy. When you approach the customer service assistant, smile. When asking for an item, say “please” and “thankyou”. You don’t have to ask how their day is, they’ll just lie and say it’s been great anyway. Wish them an awesome day as you leave. It’s also polite to hand your money to the cashier: not throw the money on the counter or at the cashier.

2. Take your earphones out
Listening to a portable MP3 player, such as an iPod, takes you to another world where there are no screaming children, bad store music or other auditory annoyances. But when talking to someone, remove the earphones/earbuds from your ears. This shows the other person that you are engaged in what they’re saying. If you leave them in with music playing, you’ll miss out on the customer service assistant cursing your house and car and wishing you’ll wrap yourself around a tree on your way out of the carpark.

3. Refrain from swearing
Taking into consideration the area I work in and the products I sell, I know that speaking well can be asking a bit much. Unless you’re Ozzy fucking Osborne, we don’t expect to be sworn at. Use “fucking” as a verb, not an adjective if you really must use it at all. Use it nicely; don’t tell me your wife is going to fucking kill me because I’ve sold out of her favourite bogan treat.

4. Don’t snatch and grab
Most stores will hand you your item/s when you have paid for them. Grabbing or snatching the items shows us that you’re an impatient jerk and if we see you again, we’ll consider slapping you. Worse still, you’re not multi-tasking when you go to several shops (particularly food places in a service centre), order your food and then make another round trip to collect your order. You save everyone a lot of time if you order one at a time. “Snatch and grab” is not an Olympic sport, so please don’t train for it in stores.

5. Wear appropriate clothing
You’ve been at the beach all day and have stopped for some petrol and food on your way home. Your bikini top and leaves-nothing-to-the-imagination denim shorts are not appropriate in places where people eat food. For a start, you’ll freeze in the air conditioning (it’s our secret ploy to get you to cover up) and secondly, we know you’re eating a large Big Mac meal with extra fries and mayonnaise. Your fat gut hanging over your shorts needn’t embarrass either one of us, so cover up.

I hope these tips have inspired you to be nice to those who pay our bills by selling you things you probably don’t need in the first place. You wouldn’t like it if I was half naked (trust me, you really wouldn’t) and telling you to give me some fucking money for the shit you’ve just purchased.



April 28, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Fifteen Cents

Yesterday a customer bought two doughnuts and was 15c short of the total. I said that was OK, no one was going to shoot me over fifteen cents. He laughed and replied, “You obviously don’t own the company!”

This morning I bought a bottle of water and was 15c short (the cost had increased since the last time I bought it from there). The cashier laughed and said it was OK (I’m a regular customer there) but I wandered back a few minutes later with the remaining fifteen cents.

Why did I do that? I don’t like being in debt, I know their company is a lot more strict on cash variances than mine, I’m honest and didn’t want to have a measly fifteen cents on my conscience, knowing the coins were in my purse.

Why didn’t I care about the 15c missing from my own till? I knew no one was going to question me over that fifteen cents. That’s about it, really. But it got me thinking- when did we get so focused on money that we forget the simple kindness of letting someone have something they couldn’t quite afford?

That customer’s comment has stuck with me for the last couple of days: “You obviously don’t own the company.” Well, no, I do not. Maybe Mr Doughnut does mind. I remember my deli supervisor saying to me once that every piece of ham I throw away is money out of the owner’s pocket. Maybe I should take better care of the stock to make the Big Wigs richer while I earn the same money no matter how much I sell. Maybe I should care about money; what if I were the Big Wig and my staff were giving away the stock for an unauthorised discount?

Pondering those questions, I have to say that I would rather have a happy customer return to my store than turn away an unhappy customer because they were a few cents short. I read a study a few years ago which concluded that 75% of people will tell their friends about a bad shopping experience, but only 10% of people will tell their friends about a positive experience. My happy customer may not tell his friends that he got away with discounted doughnuts, but he will return.

October 10, 2010 Posted by | Thoughts & Reflections | , , , | 1 Comment